Bend over backward, pal? I asked you not to piss in the sink, touch the ladies, or fuck with the furniture. If those are "arbitrary rules" where you come from, please stay in that exact spot forever.

Insane LeBron backlash from 2007-2011 = Good

Drake: [writes song about it]

Can someone please stop chopping onions in here?

One can only dream of the day when Philly fans are this invisible.

1000 respondents, all by phone? Useless, next. Good race-baiting headline though, it got me to actually look into this.

As a young man, I always maintained I would stay in school. It was the right thing to do. As a middle aged man, I am prepared to go back in time and kick the shit out of my young self for being so goddamn pious. Take the money and run, asswipe!

A more apt comparison, perhaps.

Cord Cutters

A Greek sending money to a union sounds backwards.

This Is What MLB's Replay System Will Look Like:

Calm down. He just spilled some barbeque sauce on his laptop while watching The Wire.

The Mitch Modell Defense.

I love when people comment on things just to let everyone know they don't care.

To make matters even worse for Sam Sr., a Denny's waiter then showed up at his table with a plate of food.

Way to go ESPN, merging two controversial topics in the NFL right now into one piece, an openly gay player and the effects of CTE on ex-players.

There's just a massive splatter of semen on Darren Rovell's ceiling right now.

I always wondered what happened in that case. Since 1996 I assumed that if one of the last 5 players got eliminated he would be replaced by Bill Murray.

You should hear what the NFL owners say about you!