Problem is, the Democrats get rid of their perverts (remember how they threw Anthony Weiner to the wolves when he sexted a grown woman?) while the Republicans embrace them harder and accuse the left of sexual immorality because they think it’s okay for two men or two women to get married or for women to have sex for…

Agreed. Get this gap-toothed ham-faced fuck the fuck out of D.C. and into a job selling used cars where he belongs.

What’s with all the Jack Nicholson impersonators in the picture?

There’s also my go-to: purse flask! Makes all kinds of activities more fun: Laser Tag, judgmental family dinners, trivia nights.

SING MIKEY SING

SING MIKEY SING!!!! I will personally drive a bus to DC for you to throw people under! Name all the names! DOOO ITTT.

Prince Harry is actually the result of Diana having an affair with Arthur Weasley.

The owl guy is obviously a wizard, right? I mean Harry Potter is definitely a non-fiction book :)

The excuse you’ll hear is that it was just held at a church because they are the largest meeting spaces in these small towns. But if you attended, you probably would have been witness to a lot of evangelical preaching about how “God don’t like them highfalutin politicians on the hill and he’s sent his good son Roy…

So Jimmy Kimmel sent an employee down here to Theodore for Roy Moore’s fundraising thing last night. He was kicked out after heckling Moore, which I thought was hilarious, but the locals are piiiiisssed. They’re like “He disrespected a CHURCH! This is the worst thing to ever happen, ever!” The irony of their standing…

WTF conversation did he think they were having instead? The type of salad they’d be having for lunch? Shoe shopping?

DODGER IS SUCH A GOOD BOY

“Let me finish,” he says, cutting her off. “Because we need to have this conversation.”

Literally was just saying to my GF last night that Chris Evans dating Jenny Slate made him the #1 Chris, above Hemsworth (#2, just fine, also Thor: Ragnarok was fantastic), EDIT Pine (#3, just... you know, totally a person who is there), and Pratt (#4, as while Andy is great, he’s not).

Do you ever get the feeling that we must have all died at some point over the past three years and this is, well, hell?

I stopped watching Today after they fired Curry. They treated her like shit.

I see Roker more as a “mind if I masturbate on the houseplant” douche over the rapey kind.

Poor Bruce...so much for enjoying his glass of wine in peace, thanks Page Six.

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