Kellyanne: “I can’t believe Spicer only lasted 53 days as Communications Director. That’s a record that will never be broken”

I’m a sicko lib as much as anyone here, but I feel like people in rural areas who own shotguns for exactly this kind of scenario shouldn’t be targets in conversations about gun control. It’s just kinda weird to me that dudes (real talk) who own a bunch of AR-15s and what-the-fuck-ever are treated as the same political…

Snakes in the Plains.

Now the shit pudding can hit the fan - if the sale of his hedge fund to the Chinese collapses, it proves his appointment was motive for a Foreign Corrupt Practices Act violation. If the sale goes through , but for one cent less than the previously announced $90million, it proves the same, because he’d be accepting…

There is no better example of Trump’s indifference to his fellow man. There are CHILDREN who are forced to fend for themselves and as the parent of an 8 year old, that’s some unimaginably scary stuff. Trump truly is someone who has ZERO fucking regard for anyone besides himself.

Also, Dany loses her last allies because she’s constantly high on the smell of her own farts. “WHY ARE YOU NOT CALLING ME QUEEN RIGHT NOW WHAT IS THIS SHIT. I AM THE QUEEN. DID I NOT SAY THAT YET BECAUSE I AM. QUEEN.”

Hey, no problem! We’re gonna build that wall along the southern border, and we can hang a big beautiful mosquito net, the most beautiful tremendous net you’ve ever seen, on the top part to keep out those nasty mosquitos! BUILD THE WALL AND A NET! BUILD THE WALL AND A NET! BUILD THE WALL AND A NET! BUILD THE WALL AND A…

I have no use for this. High school has become conceptually frightening to me, an old, since the advent of cell phones and social networks. They’re gonna make jokes about liking and tweeting at people and I want none of it.

After I came home from my mother’s funeral I kind of collapsed on the bed and sobbed for what had to be hours. One by one, each of my animals- a dog who knew normally he wasn’t allowed on the bed, and two cats that hated each other- one by one they jumped up and cuddled with me until I calmed down. I was surrounded by…

Damnit Jujy, I’ve already got enough of a rageboner this morning, let it wither for a few minutes while I think of Jason Alexander getting punched.

“Big mistake. Big. Huge”.

The second I lay eyes on it I thought, “Big mistake. Big. Huge”.

HOW does someone draw that shit on their face and think “nailed it. Let’s get this day STARTED.” And walk out the door. With fucking long division for eyebrows

Good thing we’ll never be as sad as that lady’s eyebrows(?).

My boss’s husband got a grant from JK Rowling’s charity (he does stuff with brains of oprhans but in a good way.)

I love Jessica Williams on 2 Dope Queens. My boss has glared at me more than once for laughing a bit too loud/out of nowhere because of that podcast.

I clicked on the US Weekly link and had the unfortunate pleasure of reading the word preggo, which bugs me. The only thing that would have made me even more annoyed is if Tori Roloff had said the hubster got her preggo and when she had cravings, he made her a sammy.