Soon as I saw this, I said, no WHEY!

Back cover:

I thought he was going for the blue meanie thing...

All these years of him trying to shock and awe us. And all it would have taken was a smile.

Well, I'm not sure how productive it is to assume Casper is only attracted to men or women. Esp given the persistence of their on-again, off-again relationship.

Lea DeLaria's photo... Is giving me LIFE without parole.

Tracee Ellis Ross looks INCREDIBLE.

There are actual people trying to Burtsplain that the photo isn't from CB2 and the video isn't from Smokey OMG SHUT UP. I never said they were THIS IS AN OVERALL HOMAGE TO SOME OF THE BEST EXAMPLES OF BURT'S WORKS NEVER CORRECT ME ON BURT EVERY AGAIN OR THE SPIRIT OF DOM DELUISE WILL CURSE YOU.

I sat at my computer for hours earlier today wondering what I was going to write on this post. I never came up with a single sentence. It's fitting, I think, because you mean more to me than I know how to express. My life, in tangible and intangible ways too myriad to mention, is so much better for having met you.

Oh, Burt, I loved you as a commenter and I loved you as a writer.

The Seahawks lost the Super Bowl AND you're leaving? Jesus.

Come back and see us sometime, Burt.

I recommend that any person who does analysis or predictions in the media (politics, sports, Hollywood rumors, whatever) should have a permanent tally of what they got right or wrong. This should be displayed by their name any time they make an appearance or are referenced. Once they fall below 50%, they are labeled…

I think if someone in the media says something like this there should be some form of retribution for being wrong. Like we should bring the stockades back solely for this purpose.

The picture of Old Conservative White Dude summer camp you painted here is going to entertain me all day.

There are many more independents and liberals here in the heartland than Mike Huckabee wants to admit. He already knows it but that just didn't fit on the banner that he fingerpainted with Scott Walker and Rick Perry during Arts and Crafts hour.

Not to mention the whole "grits and gravy" bullshit - yeah, like these Alfalfa Alpha males would ever be cool with their wives happily downing a plateful of the stuff: "You gotta watch your girlish figure, 'cause those new secretaries down at the plant are sure lookin' pretty."

I agree. There is trouble a-brewin' in the GOP-verse.

As a representative of the "American Heartland" woman, in my forties, I hate to break it to M. Hucks, but we've been smoking, swearing, fucking, and drinking in the flyover states for quite a while now. Wearing pants, voting, showing our ankles, the whole shebang. It's like we think we're people or something.

Please don't. People in the land of God, guns, grits, and gravy do not masturbate. Ever.