But you know the sex wouldn't be great, right? I mean, unless you're only into pleasing, because he sure ain't gonna give a damn whether you're having fun.

Yeah, speaking from experience as a woman and a human, guys like this are just LIKE THIS. It stems from narcissism (as far as I can tell) and whether single, lonely, married to a crazy shut-in cat lady or dating Halle Berry don't make no difference. They do what they do. Ain't no fixing it.

Deb shot LaGuerta when she walked in on Dexter disposing of a body.

That was sarcasm; I’ve never smoked in my life. It seems like a bad choice.

Oh, only 1 in 10 get the big C? Shit, pass the Luckys, Mom was wrong!

So does this make me a reverse-reverse racist for feeling that mentioning the existence of this d-bag’s bullshit class action is not newsworthy? (Not your fault, Jamie. <3)

I’ve lived in more than a couple legit scary places.

Otters and manatees when I walk the dogs, every damn day.

A key lime is teeny-tiny & dark green with intense flavor, not overly sour. Like smaller than an average dude’s testicle.

AZ gets a pass because of their choice skydiving; ideal weather 363 days/year.

And all of her golf balls will land in the open jaws of a waiting gator. That goes for putt-putt, too.

Thanks for the rage aneurysm! For real that is way too much crazy and would take at least a month to unpack everything that is deeply wrong with this man’s worldview.

Meh, I just hacked Reince Priebus’ smartphone and turned it into a hot mic. Ain’t no thing.

Lol I had to think about that one for a minute too. Glad it's not just me.

This man is my new hero after reading this speech. This is why I left Chicago, my home that I loved. Between the violence and the heroin, I can think of two dozen people off the top of my head from my high school class who are gone. Plenty in Cook County Jail or IL DOC too.

Day 12: The mattress in the Lincoln bedroom feels like a Motel 6. Sad!

That dog has way better hair. Does Donald want his hair brushed? Let’s get the brush! Oh, Donaldsagoodboyohyesheis!!

I strongly associate that town with custom sailboats, paper-white sweaters and artfully tousled blonde hair. The kind of imagery Ralph Lauren would burn down a synagogue to achieve.

True. I went to Columbia and there were many Biffs. What I wish people understood is that just because there’s only room for, say, 7,000 incoming freshmen doesn’t mean there’s only 7,000 students capable of doing the work. There is a bare-minimum standard for measuring if someone is likely to succeed in the school,…

Yes because they were thought to be beholden to the Vatican. So the guy gets bonus points for self-awareness.