They should hire the guys who did the CGI for that Friskies "Feed the Senses" commercial. That shit is haunting.

That Friskies "Feed the Senses" commercial is too smart for everybody.

I hate Things Fall Apart. Goddamn yams this and yams that. And something about a bicycle. Fuck that book.

Docusoap?
What the hell is a docusoap?

Black Guy
Was he photoshopped in?

I suggest we call the 00's the "College Years", and the 10's the "New Class". If nobody else has a better idea, let's just consider this thing resolved.

Worst part about these mall jewelry stores, now that the economy is in the shitter, a guy who looks like he has a job can't come within 200 feet of these places without getting mobbed by jewelry sales people. Jewelery sales are so bad, you could probably pretty easily negotiate a sales chick into sucking your dick in…

If his career path led him to performing as Luke Cage in a fucking parade, that actor had a lot more problems than that.

Whatever you do, please don't midget me in the punch.

Oh, I see you're planning on punching a midget. If that's all there is, I guess I'll just not worry about skipping work that day.

I see you're nearing 10,000 comments TWfS. Any special plans for the occasion?

Yeah, that guy wanted to fuck you.

But seriously, who run Bartertown?

I bet the Ewoks are gonna worship this phone as some sort of god. Dumbass Ewoks.

Todd…..
If you don't mind my asking, why exactly were you lurking in your parent's basement?

I wouldn't be surpised if Joel McHale is all over this bitch this year.

And Katie (?) and Willard mention Wonder Woman like 5 times in the intro. Marvel execs must have went fucking nuts.

No one ever worries about upsetting a cellphone

These aren't the cellphones you're looking for.

With a light dusting of assassins.