This is the longest Why Your Team Sucks entry yet.

That, or sending racist tweets.

It’s weird how hackers always seem to go straight for liking porn tweets

I thought they shaved the silver lining off.

You know what they say about Pennsylvania: Philly on one side, Pittsburgh on the other with Alabama in between.

Look, in all seriousness, as a longtime Cavs fan, I can only hope Irving turns out to have been right all along. I really do. I hope that, in Boston, his dream comes true, and he falls right off the face of the Earth.

Kyrie would be knocked flat

If no one reads it, is it still a book?

Dan Gilbert has posted the following letter on the team’s website:

That is an incredible haul for the Cavs when they had pretty weak leverage since Kyrie made it clear he didn’t want to be there anymore. Are we sure they’re still based in Cleveland??

I’m a black, millenial male, and 2017 has been absolutely demoralizing. All my life I’ve sincerely believed racism is a thing of the past, the only ones still clinging to white supremacy were dying off, the future was rosy. Even DJTs rise didn’t trouble me as much because he still lost the popular vote and the youth…

I’m finding it more and more difficult to believe that he and John Lynch are even related.

I’m not a “Stick to Sports” guy at all, but I don’t want to see a Jets linebacker defending anything if you ask me.

Ironically, Breitbart is blocked at my work because it isn’t on our whitelist.

It has to be so freeing, to give so few fucks like he does. I mean, I don’t give a lot of fucks, but the amount he gives has to be approaching if not actually zero. If you could measure the amount of fucks Marshawn gives in atomic movement, it would be the lowest temperature ever recorded in the universe.

I want a statue of Marshawn Lynch in Oakland and Seattle. Tomorrow.

Well, with an aftermarket rumble seat conversion, sure.

Where’d you learn that, Cheech? Drug school?