Long live the king

Which also explains the use of only symmetrical sans serif characters on the plate: 180 VIA

C’mon, Albert, no one wants to see you whip your cork out.

This isn’t the word I’m bothered by for the football team from Washington.

ON-ON!

It should probably be clarified that you’re talking about your experience making deals on new cars. I’ve been handed off from a courteous sales rep to a toothpick-chewing (literally) huckster at what I thought was a good Subaru dealership when it became clear I was more interested in used than new.

If the most distinguishing characteristic of your brand is “force fed diesel smoke to monkeys watching cartoons” then you’re going to do a lot more if you want me to even think about stepping onto the lot.

“Hawaiian Kurt Warner”

I was truly mortified for a brief moment that my dad had discovered Deadspin.

So the other two geniuses in the “triangle of secrecy” both left the program for jobs at Cal last February? Not a great look for Justin Wilcox.

All electric AND made largely of touchscreen displays? I don’t think all the snow tires in Akron could make that bad idea work in real winter.

I’m a lifelong Browns fan. Do you know how many of my own body parts I’d be willing to amputate to be as good as an objectively gross banana pepper and black olive pizza?

I know you mean it as an insult because you’re a sad misogynist with a weepy dick, but “100% Bitch Bucket” would make an excellent tattoo.

Mike Davis was run out of Bloomington because of nothing but racism. I’m a lifelong Hoosier fan, and I sincerely hope Davis takes Texas Southern to a national championship and blows out Indiana along the way.

Uncle Billy: loses $8,000 ($108,000 adjusted for inflation) in motherfuckin CASH directly into the hands of the villain

I miss the days when librarians were required to grow out their eyebrows, wear obviously fake glasses, and work crazy late hours on Christmas Eve.

They were born that way, sugar.

What a weird coincidence. There was a “Bruce Pearl” who used to coach at Tennessee, but left there with a three year show-cause penalty. What are the odds that this other Bruce Pearl would also turn out to be crooked?

Andre Thornton

Oh man, I totally remember that!