Nah, Pastafarianism is the only way to go.

He’s just warming up!

Who doesn’t like a V-10 sedan? Keep in mind you’ll need the rest of your $70,000 budget for “maintenance”.

My mom passed away unexpectedly almost a decade ago. Having to go through all of her belongings and discarding anything that wasn’t going to be donated or held on to by family was extremely difficult for my brother and I. We found things like notes and letters she obviously would have never shared with us or wanted us…

..

What they really need is more bootstraps to pull themselves up with.

Relevant:

You, sir, are a true American hero. I can’t take care of your dog though, I’m allergic to pet dander.

Meh. I’d be more impressed if she/he had been out there delivering the mail during the fire. Now that would have been dedication.

Ha!

Man, I thought I was the only one who mass texted pics and videos of myself to all my (now)ex-friends.

Oh don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t give less of a shit about the NRA and its members. I feel bad for making a joke involving something that’s destroyed so many lives. I guess I’m a bit of a snowflake.

Unfortunately, I don’t think we’ve hit rock bottom yet. There’s plenty more damage that can be done before we’re free of the Cheeto Benito.

The “NRA Most Violent Gun Crime of the Year Award”.

You’re not looking forward to the first “First Mother” in history?

I’m all for Trump going down in flames, as long as he doesn’t take us all with him.

When inappropriate pat downs of travelers just aren’t enough.

Yeah, it’s cringe worthy how clearly his role in the FF franchise means EVERYTHING to him.

Must be why their offensive line coach likes Snow White.

Yeah, but that’s because Sandy Hook was a false-flag operation. Just like Las Vegas.