HE Ain’T coming back.

What’s with the caps lock, bruh?

That’s quite the trifecta.

.

You have Sling Blue. Sling Orange includes ESPN.

Where’s Janet Reno when you need her?

I can see where he’s coming from. Those perverted little tarts aren’t gonna help you win a Big-12 championship.

Signing Gordon Hayward in free agency will cost Ainge none of his assets. He’s obviously saving those up for the end of the world.

5 cylinders is the correct amount of cylinders.

From what I’ve heard, there’s this great prank involving a book and a gun...

Uhh, that’s what she said?

Of course the CEO of the conglomerate that owns The National Enquirer is named Pecker. You can’t make this shit up.

“Personally, I’m more intrigued by that ESC + TC OFF button. It’s there, begging to be pressed. I believe that’s how you make the donuts die.”

Nah, he’s our Vincent Foster.

The cops at the end of the chase be like:

Who’s quadzilla in that top picture?

I’m imagining it looks something like this:

“Tire roll is also a Volvo weak spot.”

That’s strange, people usually try to kill themselves after watching the Pirates play.