Five hours? Fuck, man, I can’t even watch Netflix for that long.

So true, and sad. F1 makes curling seem riveting.

A few years ago the McDonalds outside of my office was outside giving away free junior-sized Shamrock Shakes to people as they headed home from work. My birthday is in September but it still felt like getting a birthday present. 

Last time I was in SC it was for five days. I ate hush puppies four times on that trip. The ones I’ve had in Chicago can all be filed in to “Things That Exist But Would Affect No One If They Didn’t.” It’s fucking tragic.

Paying $20 for a pound of shrimp in Chicago irks the hell out of me. Used to just buy fresh pounds of it on the side of the road for $5/lb when I lived in South Carolina. Dudes would catch it that morning and sell it out of the back of their trucks when people were driving home.  

I do not understand the love for Mayo Pete. Bernie’s all well and good but Warren actually has the plans to make it all happen. She’s who I want to vote for but right now it seems like that’s not going to happen in November. At work all the TVs are on financial news (Bloomberg, CNBC, Clowncar Business) and they were…

The missus had never had Southern ham before. Being from Michigan, why would she? So I took her down south to meet the folks and introduced her to all the goodies. She loves ham but she’d never had ham that tender and salty before. She had the ham at Christmas and already wants to visit my folks just to get some of…

Niko, it’s your cousin!

I’ve only seen an episode or two of the American Holiday version but the stuff they were making seemed like “Toddlers First Baking Competition” by comparison to the stuff the Brits are making on their version. Might as well watch the Kids Baking Show thing on Food Network because they’re making the same things. It’s…

Pothole-flavored? Does this mean it has giardiniera in it?

As someone who only played the first two Sonics: There was a plot?

Him poking his eyeball: Okay, whatever.

“If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you can’t say one of those words.. that’s the worse word.”

No one, not even a monkey that has been trained to smoke meth, is this stupid.

Yes, Barr was appointed to the office of Attorney General by Trump. He would be replaced by the incoming President.

A Friends reboot? Hasn’t that been pretty much every “group of twenty/thirty-somethings” TV show that has come out since? How I Met Your Mother is a thing that existed and if that wasn’t a Friends reboot then what the hell are people clamoring for?

I’m with you on all of this but why you gotta disrespect CCR like that? 

I’d still like Bieniemy to get a shot as a head coach but you’re not wrong. Vic Fangio (who is white) led a stellar defense here in Chicago but Denver was a fucking joke this season with him as their head coach. Then again, Denver has been a joke since Peyton retired and was a joke for years prior to his tenure. It…

The pepperoni (salami?) slices second from the left top row could look like a butt. That water bottle bottom right at the end is totally a dick, bro. 

For me, it’s almond milk because of the bees and the massive amount of water needed for those trees which wasn’t helping California’s water shortage not too long ago. Unfortunately, the missus doesn’t get along with real milk (or cheese!) so we get almond milk. I still get to have real cheese but we don’t do mac and…