Right? A guy in my city dressed up as the Liberty Bridge (which rather famously caught on fire last month). He had a little baby fog machine for the billowing smoke and everything. It was great. And not offensive. (Nobody was injured or died in the Great Bridge Fire of 2016.)

Mummy - Dead person who was loved and well cared-for by others.

Actually, I have a professional license to give advice on the interwebz so

Maybe Denne gets shit mixed up sometimes. It’s hard to balance haunting this kid while also possessing Hamburger.

“I consider myself to be more respectful to women than the average guy”

It’s always a huge bonus in a jury trial if your peers are as dimwitted and delusional as you are.

Fucking yup. I kicked a 5 year old’s ass at the Game of Life today and I don’t feel bad at all. Builds character. He’s gotten to the point where he doesn’t cry after losing or gloat too much after winning, so he’s already better than Drumpf.

you go to a junior collenge

I want Justin to rot in prison for what he did to Janet just like everyone else. But this law he broke is definitely 100% unconstitutional. Speech (and pictures are form of speech) about the government and voting is literally the point of the First Amendment.

“People say to me, ‘What about Joe Louis?’ I say what about him? Joe Louis was a bum. He was the Brown Bomber? What, is it that hard to see a brown bomber coming? He lost to a Nazi, that one time. That makes him a loser. Elect me, I’ll be the Black Bomber, the Stealth Bomber, the kind of bomber that the blacks need…

But...but...he’s going to help me get out of the inner city.

<breathy Marilyn Monroe voice> Haaaappy biiirthhh~daaayy.... Missster Saaa~tannnnn.... HAW HAW!

but

Jeez, was that ever irritating when they all kept acting surprised that she admitted to engaging in sexual activities, like sexting, going to a nude beach, etc.

I have no love for them, but idk what people expect her to do. This is her regular routine and career, even if you think it is dumb. Going back to “work” is part of trying to make things go back to normal.

The term ‘pap shots’ will never not make me think of gynecological photos.

I’m just intrigued by Jonathan Cheban’s estimation of his superior taste buds. How does he know if strawberries taste exactly 10 times better to him than me? Is there a magic strawberry meter out there? And what about other things like cookie butter? Because I’m sure I can whip his tail on enjoying that.

it’s just a picture of legs that cuts to an image of a man standing in a burning house and he has a goat head and his eyes are the black of the void and then it cuts back to an image of legs with paint on them and then it’s the goat headed man and he’s closer to the foreground and I can smell sulfur and then it cuts…