artless-dodger
artless.dodger
artless-dodger
Mar 23 2017
216

No to play Captain Obvious here, but that person who said you deserved getting your breast twisted for talking to the guy? That person is not your friend. Read more

Mar 22 2017
3

You know how when you have a strong immune system, you can handle little colds and things, but if your immune system is compromised, the smallest germ can lay you out? Read more

Mar 19 2017
6

“The People Say I’m Really Smart Award”

Mar 19 2017
14

They can just row around the land parts and sneak in by sea, since our Coast Guard budget has been cut and can only cover two guys in a dingy as sea-defense.

Mar 19 2017
1

It absolutely is exhausting. I’ve added it to my list of things to talk about if I ever find a therapist because I KNOW there’s some underlying issue for me.

Mar 19 2017
2

I made a chicken paprikash and some really nice English peas. Read more

Mar 19 2017
3

I clean every week. I have an unnecessarily complex chore matrix because I love spreadsheets and am a germaphobe in equal measure.

Mar 18 2017
1

Ha, same. My parents works for the State of PA for most of their lives, and they’d call me on random days and wonder why I was working. Read more

Mar 18 2017
1

You know if it had been Officer Chad Whitman, Serini would already be buried in the bowels of Rikers, waiting to be charged in some cooked-up drug deal.

Mar 18 2017
Save

To be fair tho, she has a lot of economic anxiety.....

Mar 18 2017
4

Sometimes “no comment” is a completely appropriate.

Mar 17 2017
2

Well, she IS the new leader of the free world. Sucks to lose a job opportunity to a woman....

Mar 17 2017
3

Turns out communism was just a red herring....

Mar 17 2017
16

Look, stereotypes are bad. Stereotypes are hurtful. Read more

Mar 17 2017
3

Okay, but five minutes is five minutes. I could strike out against Amy Schumer, or I could masterbate in the shower....

Mar 16 2017
1

Speaking from experience, I can say that the best balm to soothe a grief-stricken heart is to adopt another dog. I think it’s a wonderful tribute to Beau - that he was that good of a dog* - that you want another. Read more

Mar 16 2017
11

Jesus Christ, such EFFORT. I don’t like Amy Schumer, so I a.) don’t watch her and b.) don’t watch her. I don’t build fucking bots to down vote her projects. Who the fuck has time for that?!? I barely have time to get five hours of sleep before I have to haul my dead ass out of bed for work.

Mar 16 2017
2

Yeah, for $90 a month I could get an occasional maid or dog walker to help with trying to cram 50 hours of life into a 24 hour day.

Mar 16 2017
3

Cat Resources isn’t there to protect the employee. It’s there to protect the company from frivolous lawsuits about hairballs, tracked litter, and things batted from heights that then shatter.