No to play Captain Obvious here, but that person who said you deserved getting your breast twisted for talking to the guy? That person is not your friend.

“The People Say I’m Really Smart Award”

They can just row around the land parts and sneak in by sea, since our Coast Guard budget has been cut and can only cover two guys in a dingy as sea-defense.

You know if it had been Officer Chad Whitman, Serini would already be buried in the bowels of Rikers, waiting to be charged in some cooked-up drug deal.

To be fair tho, she has a lot of economic anxiety.....

Sometimes “no comment” is a completely appropriate.

Turns out communism was just a red herring....

Okay, but five minutes is five minutes. I could strike out against Amy Schumer, or I could masterbate in the shower....

Jesus Christ, such EFFORT. I don’t like Amy Schumer, so I a.) don’t watch her and b.) don’t watch her. I don’t build fucking bots to down vote her projects. Who the fuck has time for that?!? I barely have time to get five hours of sleep before I have to haul my dead ass out of bed for work.

Yeah, for $90 a month I could get an occasional maid or dog walker to help with trying to cram 50 hours of life into a 24 hour day.

Too much gubmint regulation! No more FDA! No more OSHA!

To all you libruls complaining about federal employees losing their jobs - don’t worry. The coal mines are gonna reopen, so fired EPA folk can work there.

It really makes me re-think those feel-good commercials that play during TV timeouts during sports-ball.

From what I have read, forced sterilizations in the U.S. continued well into the 1970s. That wasn’t just an old-timey, turn-of-the-century eugenics program. This continued to happen after we put a man on the moon, after we got color television, and after we launched space craft to leave the solar system.

Christ, can you imagine making $400K a day? All the pet causes you love that you could finally help? And you could still live really well?

Short answer: no one will be held accountable, the story will leave the news cycle and be forgotten by the public, another scandal will hit the Marines, and some Marine leader will say, with a straight face, that it’s “disappointing” and “not a reflection of who Marines are.”

It always hurts the most when the one you love doesn’t love you back.

Sounds like he needs a safe space, TBH.

Well, your coworker may be “the best” at potty training, but she’s essentially raising five children who will become adults with severe shame and guilt issues around normal bodily functions. I literally walk from building to building looking for an unoccupied bathroom during the work day. I constantly fret about…

It’s okay. I get a lot of steps in every day, and basically have our whole campus mapped as to which building has the least used bathrooms.