I really, really want to believe in Sherrod, but for fuck’s sake - this is what gets democrats in trouble every.single.time. The GOP falls in line and obstructs and blocks and keeps in lockstep in their grinding halt to progress. Democrats shrug and say “well, maybe he’ll do okay.”

If you’ve already decided, go ahead and read “We Need to Talk About Kevin.” It’ll cement your choice.

As my grandma used to say, “I’m sorry you didn’t make a better choice.”

Might be! The cover looks very benign, but there’s nothing but horror inside.

Ew, it got even worse.

My aunt and uncle own a particularly horrible book about raising kids, and it is at least 60% talking about how to properly beat your child - open hand, not closed fist. Belt is okay but not a broomstick. This feels similar.

It’s okay. J.K. Rowling is 1/32nd Cherokee princess, and she took a Buzzfeed quiz that told her what her spirit animal is.

I put my screeds in Webdings because I want people to feverishly decode it like a Zodiac Killer letter.

Ugh, why?!? These are unnecessary portmanteaus. Just call them “friends.” Anything else is just a desperate plea for non-existent street cred points.

I don’t watch the sports-ball, so the only frame of reference I have are the Hot Takes my uncles dish out every Monday on Facebook regarding the Stillers.

If the boy had any decency, he’d date a woman descended from the noble and ancient race of cheese-curds.

You know it is.

When the Steeler’s main throwing guy don’t throw good, they tend to blame his wife too.

You just watched the genesis of every nightmare that I had in my childhood. That was how they taught us our letters, back in dark ages of the ‘80s.

If she’s pregnant, than I’m trotting through my third trimester of this port wine cheese ball baby.

“Hidden Fences.” A movie about the emotional barriers put up by woman computers at NASA. Based on the August Wilson play. Set in Picksburgh.

Is it weird that I remember almost all the songs?

An all-mixed up president?

Because America is a Christian nation! It says so in the Constitution, which was handed down to Prophet George Washington by God on Mount Vernon.

It can be, for sure. Still, it’s less violent than A&E’s weekday block of programming.