It’s a good sick-day binge show. As in, it doesn’t require a ton of mental effort to follow.

Bill Clinton fake-coughs into his hand. “I’m so sick,” he drawls. “I think I’ll bail and just binge-watch some ‘Criminal Minds’ instead.”

+1 scratched up silver dollar

The day I start frothing at the mouth because some underpaid Target cashier said “happy holidays” is the day I’m “too emotional.” Until that day, none of the MAGA assholes in my family need say a word to me about emotions.

This monster also owes the State of Ohio $5.3MM in fines stemming from election law violations.

I agree. The megazord will just do their usual deregulation to help their rich buds, the Cheeto Bendito will push us all into a post-apocalyptic hellscape where we roast rats over a garbage fire and tell our children about Netflix and grocery stores and the Old Times.

God, the librul tears thing. Better librul tears over the outcome of an election where a sexist and racist won than the things MAGA types cry about: Target associates saying “happy holidays” and Starbucks’ red holiday cups.

Yeah, those victory tour stops weren’t staged events at all.

That means Eddie Munster/Paul Ryan and Mike Pence are joining with amphibian Mitch McConnell to create a megazord of dismantling destruction.

I mean, look at those goddamned paws!

With the Obamas leaving and everyone bereft, I think we should start a campaign to have Barack and Michelle train Bo and Sunny to be therapy dogs. They can then tour the country and give comfort to us. Sunny can go rogue and bite the occasional MAGA supporter for extra laughs.

Ah, welfare. The lightning-rod issue back home with my relatives in the literal middle of nowhere, Pennsylvania. Where, in one breath, they turn purple in rage over mythical welfare queens and food stamp scammers (they all eat lobster and drive BMWs). And then in the next breath, talk with open admiration about…

“It has rubbed me the wrong way to hear I have to listen to them but I will not be extended the same respect. I already am forced to listen to them.”

It’s a self-proving blog.

C’mon. Stroganoff is an advanced level course. You have to pass “Mayonnaise 101" and “Miracle Whip 102" before you can get in.

I mean, sure, he’s a big hunk of man. The same way that a block of scrapple is a big hunk of meat...

Precisely. That’s why I told my cousin that her baby looks like Gollum. Just being honest!

Trump is Diamonesque (tm).

The best lesson I ever learned when it came to discussions about race was “shut up and listen.” The second best lesson is “if a person of color tells you something about their experience, believe them.”

Poor widdle snowflake. Let me take a sip from my Old Man Tears mug.