Carl Sagan likened nuclear proliferation to two enemies together in a gasoline-soaked room. One person has five matches, and the other has three.

My dad’s girlfriend is a huge Trumper. She relies on SS and Medicare to live. Her son, a recovered heroin addict, relies on disability and Medicare as well.

You know he just splashes himself with SAUVAGE FOR MEN and calls it good.

No, it’s 100% earnest. I read it on a Facebook post from a group called “Right-Watch,” so I know it’s legit.

You make it sound as if it’s weird that my husband, a Great Dane, and I french kiss in public all the time.

I wondered how she could keep America safe too, because when she was the secretary of state, my mom was killed in an automobile collision. WHERE WERE YOU, KILLARY?!? Hillary is an omnipresent witch, so why did so many Americans die under her watch?!?

After sated on pedophile-pizza, she went to a secret room in her basement and lovingly stroked all the trophies from her various kills.

I can’t speak to every Republican, but I can speak to Ohio’s resident Repub senator. Rob Portman is a spineless fence-sitter, and he will tow the party line because he is as cowardly as they come. If Republicans came out 50/50 for and against Trump, Portman will find a way to walk that fine line between the two…

I sleep really well now, knowing that we elected a Washington outsider and not the woman who single-handedly strode into Benghazi and gunned down those patriots after she torched her emails, cackling like a witch.

My husband and I have pet names for each other - “Bad Hombre” and “Nasty Woman.” And sometimes my husband likes to just yell “wrong!” in the middle of me talking, even if it’s just something mundane, like how my day went or how I need an oil change in about 100 miles.

No worries! When I talk about my dad, “cognitive issues” is a lot of people’s first thoughts....

I mean, he’s got loaded guns strewn around the house but if I call the police about it, they’ll laugh because my dad lives in western PA and that’s basically how they live there.....

There should be support groups for those of us that have lost a loved one to Faux News and their ilk.

Others have posited this, but I don’t know how to get him checked when he doesn’t trust doctors. He went off his blood pressure meds, for example, claiming that it’s a ploy by Big Pharma. Now he drinks a cocktail of juice concentrates that he calls “Jogger in a Jug” that “does the trick.”

If I could go back in time, I’d do two things:
1.) Parental block my dad’s computer
2.) Parental block Fox News from his TV

He was a complete novice on the computer - but he’s a complete champ now at running down sites that sound innocuous (“America First,” “Patriot News”) but are thinly-veiled, terrible-looking fronts…

Ugh....I’m so sorry!

(Pretty sure the human/alien mating has a community on Tumblr for fan-fictiony smut....)

I felt TERRIBLE for Thanksgiving until my husband pointed out how relaxing it was. I sorta did a body scan and noted that my shoulders and neck were not their usual knotted mess and realized yup, he was right.

This is what I don’t understand. It literally takes NOTHING away from me, a white person raised Catholic (now an atheist), to be more inclusive with people. You know what an inclusive holiday party means? It means learning about different cultures, different people, and different foods (the most important). Like…

Yeah, we had a huge falling out after the election. We haven’t spoken since then despite massive guilt trips via my siblings. My husband and I are skipping the holidays altogether and just celebrating by ourselves.

Mine was the bluest liberal back in the day. My earliest political memory is my parents campaigning for Dukakis; he had all sorts of eloquent speeches about strong unions, better race relations, more compassionate programs for the disenfranchised.