It does have something to do with me, since every hospital in a 50 mile radius is Catholic-owned, and since I’m at a higher risk for a chancy pregnancy....the Catholic Church’s policies, unfortunately, can affect me in a very life-or-death sense.

Yeah, that much hatred of the gays really screams “self-loathing” to me.

Cap’n Walter Crunch was court martialed for tearing up the roofs of a lot of mouths.

We need to repeat to ourselves every day, for as long as we must: THIS IS NOT NORMAL. THIS IS NOT NORMAL.

“Yeah, but he’s totally a guy that I, Johnny B. Ironworker, can have a beer with! Unlike that bitch Hillary! HA HA HA HA!”

Exactly this. My county is staunchly red - mainly because the repubs turn up at EVERY election, whereas the dems only mobilize during presidential ones.

That’s rude to the sun. I vote launching them into the void of space.

Besides, they may pull a “Superman IV” and come back from the sun with their hate fully weaponized.

I’m really tired of elitist hospital insiders getting all the surgeon jobs. That’s why I am getting my bypass surgery by Joe the Plumber.

I always have to try not to moan like a fucking creep during the scalp massage.

<vomits>

It’s like the edgy R&B of Luther Vandross or Chaka Khan.

I have a coworker that says “bling” all the time. Sets my teeth on edge.

Further proof that I need not have either natural talent or training to do whatever the fuck I wanna do!

I drank plenty of Tang when I was kid and even had astronaut ice cream once!

“I’m a Scorpio, so you KNOW I’ll do a thorough job. Not like those emotional and flighty Geminis!”

This is precisely why I applied to be the director of the Haydn Planetarium. I know fuck-all about astronomy, but I’ll be damned if I don’t like a good star-show to some Pink Floyd.

Mayo might be too spicy. Straight oleo is whiter.

“I’m headed down to the Circle KKK for some Doritoes and Mountain Dew. The Tarheels are on the Jew Tube at 8 and I need snacks.”

Exactly this. My cousin (a white male) went to PSU for engineering. Now, he was Hot Shit (tm) in his high school of 20 people, but at PSU he struggled. His mother (my aunt) kept blaming “affirmative action” for the fact that her son lost a scholarship and couldn’t get another.

Courage is by no means a word I would use to describe myself. I was raised to believe that the parents are one step down from god; to always listen and obey them no matter what.