The Disappointments Room has several cases of dusty Crystal Pepsi, a rainbow with nothing at the end, a PokemonGo 10K egg with a weedle in it, and several copies of Batman versus Superman.

I would have given my eye teeth to see Keith Morrison grill Hillary about her whereabouts when an unnamed soccer mom was found beaten to death.

Only the daggers of Megiddo can kill her!

The issue isn’t that trans folk are going into bathrooms; the issue is that they have thermal imaging and cloaking devices! And the NRA’s lobbying arm is so powerful I can’t even imagine what it will take to disarm the trans population from their plasma guns....

My very conservative Catholic family had an awful lot of “premature” babies that were born at “seven” months weighing 8 or 9 lbs.

It cleansed my Facebook friend list....

It’s okay. Ann Coulter is the type of thing that can’t draw a good analogy. You can’t compare her to an asshole, because an asshole is a marvelous piece of evolution that can distinguish between solid, liquid, and gas. You can’t compare her to a monster. You can’t compare her to shit, because shit can fertilize and…

Monsters have feelings and are often misunderstood. I don’t think it’s fair to compare them to Ann Coulter.

My mom used to do vension up in slow roast with port wine - seemed to break down the stringiness and mellow out the gaminess.

But if women don’t have unplanned pregnancies, how can I effectively slut-shame them? I REALLY CARE ABOUT BABIES, OKAY, THIS ISN’T SOME TWISTED REASON TO TREAT WOMEN LIKE ANIMALS!!1!

2021.

His term doesn’t end until 2021, unfortunately.

And don’t forget that his girl smashed the homie....

The answer to your question is yes.

See also: Howard Hughes.

Don’t try and tempt me with your Timbits, you hoser.

First it’s poutine. Next it’s bagged milk. When will the insanity stop?!?

Yeah, I’d love a little truth. “Sorry Pam, but your dad is burning in hell for his antics in ‘Nam.” “George, your wife is on the other side and is at peace but would love for you to take a flying leap over a cliff.” “Fido is here with me now.....and he’s PISSED about that final car ride to the vet....”

If you read that question enough, you start to question reality. IS THIS REAL LIFE?

Yeah, karma or some cosmic rule system stops them from getting rich or solving murders, but they can comfort Phyllis and tell her that her dead dad “loves her” and “is at peace.” Good loophole, karma.