Alternate take: it’s worth it to watch Amy’s weird facial contortions as she’s prodded by angry ghosts, and then it’s even better to watch her camera man watching her. So many layers of face! Face inception!

Ugh, my mom loved that show. She was convinced that she could get on the show and talk with her beloved dead grandmother. I told her she was just as likely to get in touch with her dead asshole father and get a beyond-the-grave rant about Koreans and women nowadays.

For funsies, I’m going to the annual psychic fair in November this year. $15 for a ticket is more fun than I’d get from a movie theater with the people watching.

When Bobby Bottleservice does the “Ghost Hunters” send-up, it was comedy gold.

Which is why my company is called “Technical Not False Co. LLC.”

I mean, it might give them an extra story line or two for next season. I can picture a bunch of older white ladies drinking pinot and getting sloppy-tipsy and asking what an open relationship even really means.

Hmmm.....Elmer Bernstein. Maybe you could reverse troll people on the New York Times?

I mean, how do rompers work as an adult? Do you have to get entirely undressed to pee? How would that work at the office?

At least it’s not that grainy anti-Ted Strickland ad where it looks like he’s an accomplice to D.B. Cooper or some other unsolved 1970's case....

1.) Go to Breibart and observe for a bit. Get a feel for the landscape. The lingo. The power players.

2.) Download some Hans Zimmer scores. “Interstellar” is a good one - lots of loud pipe organs.

3.) Start by doing some mild commenting. Agree with people. Tell them they are making good points. Build a rapport with…

Money can’t buy you claaaaaaaassssss!

(Not judging if they have an open relationship or whatever. I just really like singing that line.)

When my husband and I fight, I go listen to movie score music on my headphones while trolling people on Breibart.

Still, at least they didn’t say “Hooters females....” /s

Strike number one and replace it with “Marry someone that Daddy Jim Bob picks for me, regardless of my own feelings and thoughts which have been successful tamped down for 18 years.”

I care, because I KNOW that Beyonce is actually 73 years old and this whole yacht jumping business is just further proof of the media cover up.

Ryan Lochte, why you fucking lyin’? Oh my god....

(Love that video and the gifs it spawned).

artless.dodger limited is available at both Hills and Ames.

Over-sized clocks only work if the opposite wall is balanced with a “Love, Laugh, Family” sticker plastered on it.

This is my shocked face, for sure.

She did it in retaliation because I yelled at her after I caught her cutting her janky toenails on my bed a day or two prior. I mean, I could overlook her constant playing of U2's “Joshua Tree” and I could overlook her weird obsession with real life princesses (Princess Di and Crown Princess Masako watched down on me…