But have you dropped a hot single yet about classiness and how money can’t buy it?

“Shrouded in secrecy....story line not revealed.”

Oh god, Susan....that accent! those terrible fake “hillbilly” teeth! that baby named Elvis!

And that doesn’t even begin to unpack the demonic possession OR the amnesia! Is John Black a Brady? Will Marlena spew more pea-soup in the face of Father John Black?

Sami/Kerri/Austin was the natural successor to the Marlena/John/Stefano triangle.

We have a really good marketing department.

Agreed. Hormones are literally a part of our bodies’ weird little microcosm. It’s not anti-feminist to say “hey, it’s the time before my period, therefore my energy is low and my mood is not-great and I want to eat my body-weight in carbs.”

I’ve never been able to use dry shampoo successfully - I just end up with weird white spots on my hairline, making me look like a sad, blonde cheetah.

My dog is one of my three non-blood relative references.

I mean, you’ve met her so many times. Met her, and met her....

Her?

My uncle gives the variation of “US ITALIANS DIDN’T HAVE A WALK IN THE PARK, Y’KNOW. THE KKK HATES CATHOLICS TOO.”

Yikes. This is the 2016 version of my uncle ranting at the family reunion circa 1994. “All crime is hate crimes!” sez Uncle Barry.

Judge me not by the color of my blue uniform, but by the content of my heart underneath this Kevlar vest.

I cannot WAIT until “Hidden Figures” comes out. It’s got everything an artless.dodger could ask for: Janelle Monae, Octavia Fucking Spencer, women in science, and NASA. All it needs is some Janelle music in it, hopefully more of her “Metropolis” concept stuff.

I’ve never met any Irish, per se, but I’ve met A LOT of white people who use the Irish’s plight in America as justification for watering down the African slave trade.

Hey man....don’t bring Common Core math into this.....

Um, excuse me, but Erin Miller is 1/36th Cherokee AND her Irish ancestors who came to America were, like, slaves and so she knows, okay. This isn’t about her. It’s about Jessie Williams spewing racist words against the police, who are now a race and not an occupation.

Shonda please heed this petition to fire Jesse Williams from Grey’s Anatomy and hire him into my bedroom kthx.

Well, you know. iPhone and all. Siri sometimes thinks that I prefer “children” protein in my fried rice versus “chicken.”