God I wish twitter had been around in the 90s. JTT and I would have been so cute together.

In a very New England, “Oh, so that is what we’re doing. Hm...it’s not exactly what I was thinking, but no one elected me president so. Alright then.”

It looks like he’s in the process of forming a Mickey Rourke tribute band.

Fried okra is God’s comfort food.

I’m not sure who Kumail Nanjiani is, but I’d like to invite him to Oklahoma and help him order a chicken fried steak. Because once you do, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish in this world.

I maek bill say nippel bad OK relect me

Hi Madonna

4. I want friends and acquaintences that won’t immediately exclaim, “What the fuck is up with that robe, and why are you wearing it?”

I’m upset about the robe alone for so many reasons. 1. I want a decadent robe 2. I want a context in where I can wear said decadent robe in front of others appropriately 3. I want to then talk about the decadent robe and the way I wore it in a throwaway manner, as if it were any old housecoat.

I never knew I needed a studded cape until right now, but I totally do.

“Animals” is far and away the fucking worst song in the world. Why?

oh my god, without the moustache he is KAYOOOOT

I think this might be my favorite comment of at least this week.

NEED MORE BACKSTORY

This thread is so weird. Let’s pretend its performance art.

Check #BrusselsLockdown on Twitter. Police have asked for a complete media silence about current policy movements in the city center, and people have started to flood Twitter with cat pictures instead. It’s surreal and brilliant. Bon courage Belgians!

as an editor for jezebel dot com and a person with a reasonable understanding of public health, i too am deeply personally averse to pro-life ideology! however, i do very much value people who are straightforward and sincere (and: respectful) about what they believe, to the point of prioritizing those beliefs over…