Ahahaha making a throw away account because my friends definitely know this story. When I was a senior in high school, I was really into the poet Adrienne Rich. Which kind of tells you all you need to know about the type of person I was at that point in my life. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adrienne_… for the…
It was a typical night out at the bars in Minneapolis & was having a great time talking to a really nice guy. In the middle of a sentence, Josh Hartnett bounds up to the guy and drags him away while shouting, “No. Beer googles, dude. No. Beer goggles. Beer goggles. No. No. No. No. Take off your beer goggles. No. No.…
Jon Stewart once backed away from me slowly.
One time I was flying from JFK to SFO, with a layover in Phoenix and saw Flavor Flav waiting at our gate. We went over and talked to him, he showed us the bag of clocks he keeps in Target bags with the rest of his Target bag luggage, and took a photo with us. He sat behind us on the plane (in coach) and yelled…
Going through some bad and dark stuff lately. My doctor said to me today that I’d lost twenty-two pounds since I last saw him three weeks ago, heart problem. I hadn’t even noticed I lost the weight, but people have been saying to me, “Wow, you must really be working hard! That’s amazing!” The doctor, on the other…
OH MY GOD, you are so right, she is obviously talking about those disgusting English cookie-substitutes and I didn’t even realize it. It’s still a great quote though, right?
Nice try, Maron, but Virginia Woolf made the best biscuit observation of all time.
Sadly my initial reaction to this was, “someone else has a Windows phone!"
I misread the headline and thought I would see photos of the greatest television cats.
Me: “I had a sexy dream.
Sorry everybody I am pretty sure I have the best/worst one. Maybe it's good enough for someone to get me out of the greys?! And no, we're not together.
YOU’RE MY HERO
I have been waiting all my life to share these (disturbing) sexts with the Internet. I knew I saved them for a reason. They are from a dude I met at a party 5 years ago and he sent them to me out of the blue one Saturday morning. I was NOT DOWN to get them.
I just sent this in but I am a grey and it probably won’t get read. In negotiations for a three-some with my current male lover we had a plan whereby I was having a promising third man (who is bi) over. I was to warm him up to the idea and then invite lover #1 over. I wrote: “He is adorable. I can’t wait to have you…
Mr. Macgyner once, while stuck at a truck stop due to a broken down bus, said he was “in a trucker mood” and asked me to send him a “saucy picture.” We were not in a great spot, and I’m not into the whole sending pics thing (which he fucking knew!) so I was inordinately annoyed, and thought, “You want a saucy picture?…