Oh, that Tiger and his Elin stories!

This is why for decades I have been proposing that an NHL team hire (or create) a 1,400-pound man to lie down on the ice and play goalie.

Too bad they don’t have any video of Bourdain fucking a disc jockey’s wife. Now THAT would be a post to, ummm, a post to end all posts.

The difference between lip service and walking the walk in terms of this great big diverse world. That’s what I have been learning from him and a few other next-level humans. Was a time, a fairly long time, when I could barely even comprehend that there WAS a difference. Thanks man.

Gotta use a good gin — get one step higher than you think you can afford — and absolutely MUST use Schweppes tonic in bottles. And store-bought ice.

And a quart glass. OK, so I’m a binge drinker but I RESPECT QUALITY.

Fuck Trump and fuck Kardashian, but also fuck your shitty reporting, which does nothing to explain why it worked (or even that it, at least partly, worked wonders). Leave it to someone writing about Kardashian to start and stop with the celeb dishing.

I feel quite certain that Shroom Police has more than once found himself asking: “You guys playing cards?”

I hit the THIEL button on my old keyboard and Gawker disappeared completely.

Wanted to see Sarah Rafferty in a dialed-to-11 gown. She’s dreamy!

I have a friend who’s going through a long run of painful physical ailments (that’s putting it lightly). She was driving home from an appointment and saw a rope swing in a park, and she pulled over and lay down on it. She posted something about how great it felt and she wanted to just take a nap on it. Ten minutes…

Showtime is ticking me off with all these free weeks. As a cord cutter, I have to pay the full $15/month for Showtime on the Roku. Maybe I should quit them, then wait for a free week and binge instead.

Isn’t that Crave TV’s fault for not building an app for Roku?

The interview was with WISN in Milwaukee, not WAFF in Huntsville, Alabama. WAFF simply picked up the report from another Milwaukee station, WITI. Still, this is one city over from mine and it makes me want to puke. Tosa police don’t have a solid history.

I see what you’re saying but really, if I come too early the blame often DOES rest with Putin. I mean, whoa, Wilbur! Bhhhbhhhhbhhhhbhhhhbhhh!

This is why You Porn is so profitable.

Would not use a hotel soap/shampoo dispenser. Heard enough warnings during my time as a road comic staying in “comedy condos” about what the previous weeks’ headliners would generously deposit into the left-behind soap, shampoo and mayonnaise containers. “Eww” does not even start to cover it.

We already know young parents are inherently selfish, especially those with more than two resource-burners. Because OVERPOPULATION IS TERRIBLE BUT MY FIVE KIDS WILL ALL BE PRESIDENTS AND CANCER CURERS. So we shouldn’t be surprised if they and their spawn act selfishly, obnoxiously and dangerously in a public setting.…

The best part of those darts shows — I’ve watched a few — is being transfixed by the announcer who, when someone gets three triple-20s, shouts out in a heavy brogue, “One HUNNNDRED and eighty...”

I just went through this. A friend and I (He’s 6-5 and wide, I’m 6-1 and wide) are flying cross country. We tried to book 3 seats but the automated system would not allow us to buy a third seat unless there was a name attached to it. So I called and the dog-killing airline told me there was an excellent chance we were…