What?! Just...just... What?!

I’d rather get my prostate checked by Edward Scissorhands & have Freddy Krueger assist than listen to 1 more minute of trumps insane, racist, nonsensical ramblings or his flunkies try and justify them.

Same here. It's my moms fault.

Not to sound like a drama queen but my asshole father is the same way. To parents like that if their kids aren’t coming by its because they’re being kept from doing so. The child being sick of selfishness, cruelty, abuse, or a horrible attitude & way of acting never occurs to parents like them.

I just shot raspberry lemonade out of my nose laughing at this. No joke. Worth it.

Please don’t make the evolved form of my 2nd favorite Pokemon dance to “goodnight horses”. Now I can’t stop wondering if charizard is tucking & has a clefairy held hostage and starving in an oubliette in his basement.

Nothing sets the mood like a cheesy Bryan Adams credits song from the 90's.

Hahahaha! I’d probably make that joke too. I'm glad it's not lupus, lupus sucks.

Oh my god, from the 3 musketeers soundtrack, of course! Given the musical selections I uhhh...let’s say “lucked into” during that week I’m surprised I didn’t lose my V-card to that song or something. Oh and what a video too! They’re all wearing leather pants and white old timey undershirts. Like the musketeers had a…

First handjob “All by myself”. was playing on the radio. First blowjob “Everything I do” from the Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves soundtrack was on. Both experiences happened in the most romantic setting on earth: A Carnival cruise.

I think I’ve got that beat. I got my first handy & blowjob from the same girl on a cruise when I was 14. We would turn the radio on when we were fooling around and we must have turned on easy listening or something because my first handjob was to (and I swear this is true) “All by myself” while my first blowjob was to…

Plus I can’t help laughing every time Lupus is brought up because my mom has it. They use it as a possible diagnosis almost every episode. If someone has a perpetually runny nose, the hiccups, or horrible farts on that show they’d say it was lupus. It’s not Lupus House/Writers! There’s a symptom list you know! They…

Elizabeth Warren, run away with me. Every time #LoserDonald says something stupid, ignorant, racist, dangerous, and downright hateful she comes out with a short but sweet biting tweet that hits him square in his shriveled testicles.

I saw Rosie as Golda in Fiddler on the Roof when I was a teenager with Harvey Fierstein as Tevyeh. I hope she does a better job in Hairspray.

If Michelle did that republicans already would've had articles of impeachment drawn up for Barack.

Truly the Trump Campaign/GOP is the party of the new america

He doesn't need the NAACP. He's got Scott Baio, Antonio Sabato Jr., and the actress who played Cindy Brady backing him. When you've got that kind of star power behind you you've got the election on lockdown.

Yup, same here. I have a 3 hour layover in Charlotte on my way home now 2. But like you said, there are worse airports to be stuck for 2 hours.

Ugh, I’m not sure divine intervention will be enough. I’m terrified. I knew AA’s reputation but they were the cheapest at the time and like an idiot I threw caution to the wind.

I’m scheduled to fly AA in October. Yesterday I got an email saying they were rescheduling their flights. My flight home would give my 15 minutes after landing to get to my next gate. I had to call and figure something else out despite the fact that my girlfriends birthday is in 11 days and our anniversary is in a…