From what I surmise is her true ‘role’ in Trump’s inner circle, probably more accurate to call it “the one inch stare”.

Sessions said that ending DACA would ensure the “rule of law” and protect American citizens from “crime, violence, and terrorism.”

Circle Jerk

None of you fools recognize a good ol’ fashion Covfefe when you seen one?

Also, he’s very dusty and eats a lot of beans.

It’s the Jezebel break room when there’s only one peach LaCroix left.

They’re still using this tired ass argument? I mean he might as well said “what’s next men marrying dogs/horses?”

It’s a towel. If it smells clean, it’s fine.

The goal is to eliminate having to wash towels every day because no one knows which towel is theirs.

Small correction, easy mistake to make, tiny thing, completely understandable:

If Jimmy Fallon worked at Chotchkie’s he’d be the server with the most flair. He’d have like 37 fucking piece of flair, okay. And a terrific smile.

I just took a look outside and it was annoying and unfulfilling. Your theory about us all being inside Taylor Swift has just passed the sniff test.

My friends and I were into music so we were the ones ordering imports and hearing about bands before they got big. Yeah, I had the local record store order Jimmy’s Chicken Shack because they didn’t keep it in stock a year or two before they got ‘big’...if you don’t think High is a good song I will fucking fight you!

Would way rather hug Bob Dylan than Seinfeld any day so this is a happy ending!

As a fucksquatch, I find his routine very triggering.

Are you that big a fan of KFC Famous Bowls?

I say no... But this just made me recall Mathnet. Didn’t that come in small little segments? I was enraptured as a child, but I was also a child.

Wasn’t “Short Attention Span Theater” meant as a joke?