Robert Jezebel was killed ten days later by a rabid Catholic possum, at the Battle of Bull Run.

Google the phrase “i wonder who roy is”. It appears on a bunch of sites I had never heard of that look like excuses for ad blocks.

Best of luck to all the writers, and may none of your stories get copied onto several crappy “creative writing” blogs, like mine was.

Then...who was...phone?

If you ask her, she’ll probably tell you that she doesn’t even see color.

How did you get a hold of my screenplay?

U-N-I-T-why...

Meanwhile, Louise Linton will live a perfectly healthy life until peacefully passing in her sleep at the age of 114, surrounded by her cabinet aides and trained attack hippos. She will be proclaimed the the greatest ruler in the short history of the kingdom of Cuckistan (formerly the Dust Bowl states and Northern…

But don’t worry—evacuees will be held financially responsible for the cost of their flights, signing IOUs and surrendering official ID; so, as you can see we’re being financially responsible holy shit I wish I was joking around.

Rich people stay rich by not spending their money on trivial things, such as service-industry tipping or compensating artists for their creations

The hardy handshakes are covered in her half of the prenuptial agreement.

There’s a year-end list compiled by a consumer safety group that chronicles those...incidents, as well. Rectum? Damn near killed ‘im.

The mental image is of a bicycle wheel—so, spoke-ing? A spoke-fest?

Stop writing the 2020 GOP/Trump platform.

“Cowboy of the capital”

It’s not the meat on the drumstick, it’s the...skin...leftovers...um...

“Seriously, does this mean we’ll be allowed to marry horses? This is important for someone who is not me.”

As bad as stampeding cattle through the Vatican?