With wings made out of wax dicks.

And here I am, thinking she was supposed to be Beyoncé. Boy, am I embarrassed.

That may earn him a reduced sentence.

That includes two of my favorite things, counsel. Objection sustained with milk.

I’m confident that every logical fallacy he learned for winning arguments on the Internet will stand up nicely in a court of law.

I was invited to a shindig in the building. I am bringing booze, because I am working on Thanksgiving and I will not have the strength to cook a damn thing.

I always thought it was December, with the “White Christmas” theme and everything.

*blushes* It’s just nice to know you care.

Over on Breitbart, the knuckleheads are using the word “google” to refer to black people and “echo” for Jewish people. I’m pretty sure that at this point, “round up Muslims” and “nuke France” is how they refer to scat play and water sports.

Your GIF emotion is unclear

When battling the world’s ills

Oh, I wish that all these singers knew

(To the tune of “Eleanor Rigby”)

You all helped preserve the sanity of this readership and kept me from screaming.

The judge just told Trump’s lawyers to, politely, go fuck themselves.

“May you rot in a lonely hell” <—- so they want you to move to Jersey?

When is the next meeting of Tautology Club?

Tacos to eat, Moscow Mules to drink.

I like to think that this is Ze Frank trying to go out in a blaze of Dadaist glory.

Aside from the “take home” part, this reminds me a great deal of improv comedy in Chicago.