The dinner that gives special hugs.

That is not dead which can eternal lie

Now, the severely pragmatic side of me would say to get a shitload of garbage bags and dump all their stuff outside your home once they’re off the property.

I mean, do they ever leave the apartment for anything?

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Well, we’re all doomed to either be eaten first or to watch as the known world is taken over by horrors unimaginable from the mysterious depths of R’lyeh...so, I plan to dig in. I’ll save you a plate.

At least on this holiday, we know Who Will Be Eaten First.

Thanksgiving is work, looking after animals belonging to people who can actually afford to go somewhere for the holiday. So I’m sneaking out for an orphan’s meal near my apartment, which will be serving Cthurkey.

Your dad’s a keeper. If you can afford it, make some room under the salary cap and hang on to him. :-)

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

“some uncles are covered in a layer of dense fur designed to protect them from the elements”

Will that mantra bring me any closer to enlightenment?

Can blue men sing the whites?

An army of Know-Nothings, as well.

Kim Kardashian’s still angling for that million-dollar choker, right?

Mild pedophilia.

At this point, the Republican party doesn’t alienate people. It kills or eats them.

I imagine the people practicing concealed carry with dildos are having much more fun than the gun-toters.

You see? The free market has stepped up to fill the gravbbbblegar vbvvvvvvvvvbrraaaaaaaaaallllllllll

One of Harvard’s fight songs proudly proclaims that they’ll invite the other team to the victory tea social. Don’t tell me they’re incapable of cutting loose.