Wha about the perpetually damaged and drained of spirit? Can we become snowflakes or do we have to purchase the additional wax and cleaning shammies?

Current cycle: slow cook whole chicken, strip meat and dump bones back in with veggies for stock; blend and use for red beans and rice. Repeat until paycheck justifies pork loin in addition.

Well, if you put a book out there, y’know, with an attractive dust jacket and eye-catching cover, just screaming “Read me!”, y’know, you shouldn’t be surprised if some people end up opening that book.

An old roommate brought her cats up from her mom’s home to live with us. The cats both had fleas, and soon the entire apartment was filled with them. I spent the next eight months sleeping in my jeans, to keep myself from being driven crazy by bites on the leg. When I gave the cats flea baths (she refused to, on the…

Sometimes you’re the windshield

You’re an otter.

There were robot prostitutes, and there was a covers-up-and-dissolve-cut-while-the-actors-perform-barrel-roll-hugs-in-bed scene, but no TNA.

The approximate sound I made while reading this:

Episode pitching time!

So nice to see the sanctity of marriage alive and well.

When it comes to MRSA, there’s nothing worse-a.

Just remember—the organizers of this are tight with the Dugger clan. Stick with flats; be prepared to run.

Why did it count up? It’s a quantum countdown timer. Detonation occurs at -i.

No love for White Gay Men Can’t Jump?

And take away his toaster.

I win!

because the muslin is trying to destoy hour contry.

and here’s to you, Mrs. Whatever

Take the Mitch Hedberg approach:

My roommate. She has said she’s voting for any woman that gets the nomination, no matter their party affiliation or views.