Whenever someone is in a stadium cheering wildly and loudly with only (at best) tepid support from the surrounding fans, it’s gonna be cringeworthy.

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“As with all unreasonable wedding requests, I suggest that you A) Go along with it, and B) Trash the mom privately to anyone else grousing about her micromanaging of the affair.”

Dammit, why did I read the whole thing?

I had totally forgotten about that meme from last year. Well played.

The NFL has kind of become its own B-league. Why not start a veteran’s league? If the problem is that good players are getting passed up over cheaper younger players, then there’s certainly a market for better, older players.

I have a child who get carsick at random times; I have ridden backwards in the passenger seat holding my child’s ice cream puke in my cupped hands while my wife darts over three lanes on the highway in traffic to get to an exit. You are not wrong.

This was an accident, I realize, but if I asked a potential employee what they’d been doing and they answered, “Hawaiian bread rolls,” I’d have to give an eyebrow raise and an approving nod.

Most women like these things, in order:

THANK YOU. I have tried so hard to explain to members of my family that it’s bad form for me to wear my Tony Gonzalez Chiefs jersey, even though I got it as a gift the FRAKKING Christmas before he was traded.

Kansas’ rival is Kansas State, traditionally, though the parity between the two teams is rarely even. K-State beats KU in football, KU beats K-State in basketball, and no one pays attention to the other sports.

Because I saw it done recently, and it’s my new favorite Drew Magary reading game, here is a poem composed of Drew’s ALL-CAPS:

“Soccer needs aggregate scoring because teams don’t score enough. I SAY WE DOUBLE THE NET SIZE. Boom. You’re welcome, world.”

Texas, who hasn’t put together a decent season since 2009, is worth BOTH an Ohio State AND a Michigan? I’d say that it’s like having a Big Ten Network without Nebraska, in that Nebraska is a team that used to be good and now only has the fans that didn’t jump off the bandwagon. The Longhorn Network is failing because…

I don’t get it. Did Texas strike a deal with ESPN that says the other 9 member schools can’t band together and have a Big 12 Network without Texas? Let the Longhorn Network deal run out since ESPN stepped in THAT mess, and then Texas can join the Big 12 Network at the end of that deal. It’s not like they need Texas…

the Gilmore Girls used to take an hour off my life, every week.

“One year would be all he needed. Alabama was a train wreck before Saban took over, and they went to the Sugar Bowl just two seasons after he arrived.”

Chiefs, vs. Colts, 2013-14 Playoffs. Also, the Chiefs first game with Denver this year. I swear, Andy Reid lives to build up hopes and then destroy them, like some sort of demon who feeds on crushed dreams.

“I’m livid,” said Hugo Espinoza, a man who has spent 203 nights in Starwood hotels this year, in an email to the New York Times. “I dread to think what the merger will do to my platinum-for-life status.”

“The movie is so innocuously likable on its surface, but below is this undercurrent of casual, flippant snottiness that’s a glib simplification of the tonal juxtaposition Schulz used to weave during Peanuts’ prime.”