I am going to start using this on ME!

Apparently the SI HR dept. brought in Ryan Seacrest to give the news.

I feel like this is ok, because there is context there. You are referring to a relationship that you currently have. When the wait staff gives you a cute nickname it is 100% trolling for tips, IMO.

Seconded. Especially from a waiter - I never feel more talked down to than when the guy at TGIF (or whatever bullshit chain I have to eat at because that’s all my kids like) calls me “boss.” Same with waitresses and “Sweetie.”

Aw, Daaad....

“For that reason, the second half of this game became a real slog, as it became apparent that the Warriors would not be making a huge push.”

Fellow Shocker here - he was electric in the backcourt for WSU, and still is. I never had him pegged for super-stardom, but no one works harder. It’s great to see that paying off.

I feel like the fouled player should only get three free throws if the shot hits the rim or backboard. That would eliminate the “jump into the guy and pretend to shoot” crap that goes on. Otherwise the shot had no chance, and they should only get two shots.

Here is a Piping Hot Take: instead of seceding certain states, we should just eliminate them all as power structures. I mean, do states have any real power anyway? It seems an antiquated notion from the colonial/settler days. Useful then, not so much now.

Girls aren’t gonna throw their bras at you because you can knock off a flawless rendition of “Heart and Soul”

Whenever someone is in a stadium cheering wildly and loudly with only (at best) tepid support from the surrounding fans, it’s gonna be cringeworthy.

username checks out

“As with all unreasonable wedding requests, I suggest that you A) Go along with it, and B) Trash the mom privately to anyone else grousing about her micromanaging of the affair.”

Dammit, why did I read the whole thing?

I had totally forgotten about that meme from last year. Well played.

The NFL has kind of become its own B-league. Why not start a veteran’s league? If the problem is that good players are getting passed up over cheaper younger players, then there’s certainly a market for better, older players.

I have a child who get carsick at random times; I have ridden backwards in the passenger seat holding my child’s ice cream puke in my cupped hands while my wife darts over three lanes on the highway in traffic to get to an exit. You are not wrong.

This was an accident, I realize, but if I asked a potential employee what they’d been doing and they answered, “Hawaiian bread rolls,” I’d have to give an eyebrow raise and an approving nod.

Most women like these things, in order:

THANK YOU. I have tried so hard to explain to members of my family that it’s bad form for me to wear my Tony Gonzalez Chiefs jersey, even though I got it as a gift the FRAKKING Christmas before he was traded.