What about “Sweets?” I love calling people sweets, such as “Hey, sweets, are you coming to lunch with us?” Maybe this works only from women to women? But I’ve called my husband “sweets.” Will someone please send the funny wagon to pick me up?

Jesus Christ, don’t call people “boss.” It reveals you as a person who isn’t clever enough to be manipulative in a subtle manner.

The only 2 things I ever liked from them were the first round of heat gear in solid white and another in solid black. I had both for almost 10 years before the elastic frayed.

I'd say in this case, it's definitely not a good idea to put $750 million on black in Vegas.

Whoa whoa whoa, I’m all for jingoism, but that’s a Fox Sports+Skip Bayless level lede right there. There’s ten other dudes on the pitch, yeah? Presumably paid a lot of money? Just as vested as Messi in whether the team wins or loses?

Running in the zoo seems like a good choice. It’ll sure as shit make everyone who sees you think “What the fuck are they running from?”

Or those assholes that wear a football jersey with a guy’s name on it that doesn’t play for the team anymore.

Ugh, it’s so skeezy how ad agencies ask people—especially younger employees—to work such crazy long hours. It’s advertising. It’s not saving lives. This stuff is not high stakes enough to demand that people bust their asses like that. A lot of it really just seems like something that’s done to inflate their own sense…

He’s only playing so long to pay off his massive student loan debt. Four full years of tuition at Wake Forest. Yeesh.

I’ve composed a poem/insane person rant using all of Drew’s all caps words:

Schottenheimer’s cat: the unknown state of a football cat where not knowing if it was smuggled in or found at Arrowhead forces us to think about it as simultaneously both smuggled in AND found at Arrowhead.

Goodnight room

Seems like your take was already hot enough, nevermind the reactions to it.

“What’s homo milk? Is this milk from GAY COWS?!” he demands, utterly* seriously, even angrily.

They say that Deez Nuts is an Independent, but in my experience he has always leaned more to the left.

As a Wildcat fan I would say this is a very fair and accurate assessment of the Big 12. Fans of Texas and OU will want to have words with you - please use small ones that are easy to understand.

My kid is 6 and we’re taking her to Disney later this year. We’re getting her a stroller because I know I’m going to be pissed about something at some point and hearing her whining about being tired will push me over the limit, and I’m not lugging a kid on my shoulders.

Yeah...if BC tries to succeed, the US is grabbing it faster than Putin and Crimea. It’s got oil, a land connection to Alaska, and we become the gatekeeper for Canada-China trade.

Plus, BC gives us the land route to Alaska, always a long-standing American dream. Alaska is like our Kaliningrad.

University of Surprised Children