You are expecting me to trust Yelp. That is, I fear, a bridge too far.

skin flakes????

Jizz is just one item in the cornucopia that is hobo pants stew.

jizz

My husband and I will do the "wow, he's hot" thing together, but not as often as we do "wow, she's hot." So there's my anecdata.

I feel like 95% of Tracy Moore's posts are jokes that are just above my head. Logging in to a hook-up app with the intent to evaluate the fuckability of other potential partners is not the same thing as noticing a good-looking person on the street.

The best part was that when my mom came to get me after I got fired (I was 16 — I couldn't drive myself yet!) she wanted to stop by the mall on the way home. There was a fancy new store that sold tapes and CDs (! — hey, this was 1986!) opening up, and they were setting up the store. In a fit of bravado I asked if they…

You do not shit on Pinkham in Pinkham's house. Yes we disagree about some things (diet coke), but you are very rude and uninteresting, whereas the author of this post is just the opposite.

Congratulations, this is the most boring comment in the history of comments.

Did they specifically come back with Chaco Tacos or actual ice cream cones? That makes a difference you know. An ice cream cone is not an ice cream truck emergency.... a god damn Choco Taco is! I would leave my mother on a cliff for one of those. So would Jesus.

Don't cut your wrists with all that Edginess.

I worked for an EXTREMELY disreputable publishing company that was constantly being sued for sexual harassment, and our holiday parties (really, all parties) were pretty legendary bacchanals, so I was not super thrilled to have to plan one. I picked a lovely hotel bar near the office, we arrive around happy hour about…

... I don't think that was even just "widely accepted," I'm pretty sure that was explicit cannon.

The holiday parties at my former company were epic. An open bar, a free hotel room and 150 stressed out workers made for a drunken festival.

It would be nice to get some information on James. The movies never made him look like much more than a prat. He got along great with the Marauders but what made him special if anything?

Suggestion: James was actually the Ron Weasley (comic relief) of the bunch and Lily was the Hermione. That might put Severus in the…

I have a big Pottermore reveal for all of you:

My birthday is exactly a week before Christmas, and as such, is almost always the day that my office chooses to have their holiday party. This has happened several times over the years with various jobs, and it is generally uncomfortable and has occasionally gotten weird.

The most memorable, however, was several…