Ha! This is great and as someone who loved Smallville but hated Gotham I can relate to shows doing this with famous character. This post needs 1000 stars.

That setup would go a long way toward explaining why he’s later a super spy who insists on introducing himself by his full, legal name (assuming we’re not going with the “JB as a code name” angle). 

Catholics aren’t allowed in the wild west, silly!

With the name Lil Yachty, he should star in another game movie, Yahtzee.

Whenever Cyborg’s not on screen, the other characters ask “where the fuck is Cyborg?”

To be fair, if you take the snark out of Sam, there’s nothing but an empty shell left behind.

Post-retirement, Bezos will continue to live rent-free in Donald Trump’s head*.

* And, apparently, Sam Barsanti’s.

Ordered from most to least toxic.

Call me when they make Doctor Fauci, Werewolf Slayer. 

Insane in tha’ Crane!

Ah Beast, Abe Sapien (sorta) and Scarecrow.

Or mob wife.

You seem like an asshole. I was going to say "you seem fun" in a sarcastic way but I'd be making light of how awful you truly are. Anyway, you are a twat.

Not sure what you’re trying to get out of this, but that’s twice that you’ve swung for it and missed. Are you hoping I’ll be mad? I don’t listen to music to get attention from others, so you’re taking the wrong angle there. Do you need some help insulting me? Let me know if you do.

Don't be shit. 

It’s fine, much better than being one of those people that shits on others for liking something they don’t. Those are the ones I feel truly awful for.

I really feel for Pfieffer. She's had a long successful career and yet all of these 90s kids who grew up to interview her want to talk about is the cat lady that gave them their first boner.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

“We just know that you don’t necessarily need to support companies with 10 unique points in the “controversies” section of their Wikipedia page and an additional six points in the “criticism” section. Or maybe you do, we don’t care.”

Mike Myers looks ancient but Dana Carvey must have a painting in an attic somewhere aging for him.