It’s a participation trophy, not a statue.

The governors’ hands are already waaay out there looking for federal money.

Hooray. Now asshole speculators and scalpers will buy up all the new sets.

VP Harris and Bitch McConnell have both announced that they’re praying, so at least the LORD is getting it from both sides of the aisle.

How about they SELL me a version of Office I can use on whatever machines I own without any bullshit subscription?

So that’s even worse.

We don’t really have anything to worry about until hurricane season hits.

Um, no.

Let me run that past my credit card companies!

Yeah, that’s probably more accurate.

“Raised” is probably the wrong word in here.

I don’t think it’s a bad deal as much as it is an old deal. It doesn’t account for the evolving ways in which people consume content. Spotify’s not in the wrong here (and neither are the artists or Spoken Giants). They’re different sides of a labor dispute, not a crime against comedians.

The comedians are asking to paid as writers (and receive royalties on their copyrights) rather than as performers. Presumably, by getting paid for their literary rights, they would receive more than they get now.

Spoken Giants is pushing for the comedians to get paid differently in a way that would pay them more.

I love Molina for doing the same thing Danny DeVito did with the Penguin.

In the Daleks’ case, it might be a need for more shots rather than simply shooting faster.

If Google Translate can be trusted, it’s spam for a house cleaning service in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia.

Couldn’t they make it darker?

It’s more fun if health care is dependent on using a smartphone.

I think you mean to say that Google came up with another way to hoover up marketable data about its users.