Unfortunately, Sam Barsanti doesn’t read the comments on his awful articles, so he’ll happily do this again.

So what’s the worst aspect of this article?

Believe it or not, Sam Worthington was the star of a movie that made over a billion dollars at the box office.

Sam Worthington.

2 Gatsby 2 Furious

2 Great 2 Gatsby

Make a Fitzgerald Cinematic Universe (FCU) and mix in Benjamin Button and the diamond as big as the Ritz.

The Skateboarder stands again, his body aches with the pain of a thousand falls. His body says “stop” but he says “NO”! He begins to roll on his wheeled board. She is a harsh mistress who brokers no compromise. She does not allow mistakes and she punishes them with pain.  But she is but one of the many bitches that…

Even though I know it won’t be, I can’t help but wish that “For the Love of Jason” is a romcom about the psycho slasher from the Friday the 13th movies.

Should’ve called herself DJ MSG. 

I understand they considered casting Melania Trump as Melania Trump, but then realized that role would be outside her range.

I genuinely think they asked Jared Padalecki what he wanted to do. He said Walker, Texas Ranger so that he and his family can be based out of Texas (where his parents live) and his wife can be in it.

1. Spinderella’s not in the group name because she joined a couple years after the group formed to replace their first DJ.

Well I’m puzzled someone is aware who Spinderella is but doesn’t know the song?

The name would have been Spinderollo, if that was the case. 

“...and just like you, I had problems bottoming. I tried biting down on every pillow out there and nothing worked.”

I guess the IOC told them the bribes were non-refundable.

This feels like another one of those reboots for nobody, like MacGyver.

Sheree J. Wilson was the only thing that interested me, as she was very good on Dallas, but I’m sure I am not in the majority...

Maybe they thought Boomers would follow the IP even without Norris?