the student who was hit has been to the hospital twice because of post-concussion syndrome

Look, I know this seems excessive given how well Disney is doing, but I think it’s important to keep in perspective that it costs a lot of money to make a small group of people wealthy enough to embarrass the devil.

He was saying “Boo-urns”

• Loot all the containers. It’s not uncommon to find money in dumpsters, food in filing cabinets, ammo in trash cans, or drugs in toilets.

I kind of missed Mac Tonight, but then I realized his entire act was built around a single goddamn song and the subversive idea of eating McDonald’s after 6 PM.

The only statue in Baltimore that could use more protection is Joe Flacco.

Tear it down and build a statute of a real Maryland hero:
That girl that crushed a can of beer on her head last weekend.

That’s a legit comp, but I personally see Mac Tonight.

#nopages

This just makes me love Harrison Ford even more.

Citing widespread flooding in the state of Texas, the NFL reasoned it could not deprive Dallas of its navel attack.

“This is fine.”

Mr. Williams was also let go from a school last year for similar conduct. He also claims to be an Olympic athlete.

The Lob.... and the Jam!

I’ve been married 16 years and also get screamed at every time I try to get my wife to spread her legs.

The fact that he was falsely accused of a crime is just further proof that Whitehead isn’t Cowboys material.

Someone with an IP background is better-positioned to address this than me, but I think something like 85% of Deadspin readers are attorneys, so let’s just give it a few minutes: doesn’t a trademark owner run the risk of losing rights to its mark if it fails to diligently prosecute infringement? In other words, is…

Making fun of his weight is just picking low hanging fruit, which Christie would never touch, unless it’s covered in chocolate or filling a pie; because he’s a fatty fatty 2x4, can’t fit through the kitchen door.

I wouldn’t call it a “disaster.”