When asked what he’s going to do now that he’s got a 100 million dollar contract, Antetokounpo said he’d carry on the fine Greek tradition of spending all 300 million of it.

That kind of attitude will get you guillotined.

This kid writes like he’s going to be a washed up NFL punter in 10 years...

Marc Trestman was kind of like an anthropomorphized, apologetic whisper that someone stuck a Bears hat on.

It was a weird two years here.

Burmistrov: [pipes down]
J.R. Smith: [wonders how it’s come to this]

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Someone sprays you in the face with pepper spray, you eat their kayak. It’s as true for this bear in 2015 as it was for me in the summer of 2006.

So am I. Amazing times we live in.

Pictured: A Bear, whose world is governed by strength, that has zero fucks to give about your goddamn kayak.

This could not have happened to a better candidate. Christ, she's obnoxious.

Do it.

Why are people convinced Bryce Harper even needs an attitude adjustment? Both times in his career when he’s had the spotlight on him for not hustling to first it was because some other macho asshole wanted to start a pissing contest. It’s astonishing that people think Harper is especially a steakhead. He has just as…

Pictured: professional dunker

Horatio Sanz could be heard laughing from Section 410, Row 14

I can't believe you actually fell for ol' fluoride treatment gag. On the plus side, now you know semen gives you a stomach ache.

Conor not only met the real Daniel Bryan, he met the real Undertaker.

Photo: AP

Wow. I really appreciate the time you're putting in here, but there's just a fundamental misunderstanding on your part. I have Dish Network, a satellite television content provider. While I admit that yes, there is a cable from the dish into my home, there is most specifically NOT a CABLE from the utility pole outside…

I thought so many North Americans liked bacon for its Jewish & Muslim repelling properties.

No, you don't understand, I don't have cable. I have DishNetwork. No extra surcharge for me, which is f'n awesome.