Doesn't every team need a batboy?

Wait, you were a fucking snack burglar as a teenager and your friends didn't know? Shady as fuck.

I hope the handcuffs fit JUUUUUUUUUUUUUST right!

It can take up to 41 to 50 shots to bring down a buck like this!

Crayola box! Everyone knows you use the peach crayon to color white-people skin!

I'm also willing to bet that they didn't have snipers when they went to arrest the actual white robbers.

Because militarization of the police.

To be fair, they were just told that he went into a house with a little girl and a teen and robbed them at gunpoint.

Also she can be prosecuted for making a false police report in addition to the robbery.

Yes, but unless she has money, it's a waste of time (and his money).

Ok, I'll admit, sometimes kids are awesome.

""They got them back because of me being a superhero." Abby Dean: Superhero and not here for your racist bullshit."

You keep on fighting the good fight, Abby. Truth and Justice need you on their side.

Why wouldn't stock options be included in the 10-1 ratio?

You're incorrect. We already have laws in place to prosecute price fixing.

errr, less true with the baby. You can leave a dog at home alone, people frown on leaving your baby home alone.

First they invented fast food. There's no time for subtlety or pacing yourself, you just queue up, scarf those burgers down, feel your blood sugar spike and go back to feeling miserable. Then they invented fast sex.

You're making me imagine a "Penis Licenses" window at the DMV and I'm cracking up.

My step son showed me a text message exchange of his with the girl he's now dating (they weren't at the time). I read through it, stop, and say, "Dude, you're being creepy. You're not funny. It's creepy. Stop it."

He was stunned. "But that's how my friends all talk to each other."
Me: "Your friends are idiots. Even you…

less serious for babies and children, 7.2 billion humans on Earth, much less a dog.