After the jet ski blowjob fight story? Not even close.

Are you saying I can blame hipsters for putting people's lives in danger? I'm cool with that.

This is essentially Vogon erotic poetry. Everybody panic.

I feel like I have to post this here:

It's a Catch 23 Situation, Julian! I didn't wanna have to heat it up again! I figured worst case Ontario, it boils over. No friggin' deal! Just use some Fire Retarded, it doesn't take Rocket Appliances to figure that out.

Damnit, Ricky! You left the deep fat french fry frier on again!

Our inherent xenophobia always seems to come out on top.

That ain't nothin'. I've seen 'em tow faster than that ...

That's not scary. The ghost is obviously friendly. It just wanted to hold the cameraman's hand, and even closed the door when asked! Check your corporeal privilege, Mark.

And tax evasion.

Also could constitute false reporting, depending on how it was done.

insurance fraud.

Waiting for mustachioed newcomer Werdna Elddib to take the boat racing scene by storm.

My dad is the man.

"You can check out any time you like, but you can't ever leave....bad Yelp reviews."

Serious question, how is this not considered blackmail?

IIRC, the current NYPD SVU is not only made up almost entirely of male cops, one of them was comfortable enough with his belief that any victim who asks for a female officer is obviously lying about being raped that he shared it with the New York Times.

Does this count?

This is pretty much my feeling. If you believe in Jesus/Mohammed/Buddha/The Flying Spaghetti Monster, good for you. But I don't want to hear about it. Why is it so damn hard to keep that shit to yourself?!
Obviously I don't say anything to the people who wear Jesus-themed t-shirts and have prayer circles at brunch, but…

I feel the same way about praying in public as I do about breastfeeding in public: if you feel like you need to do it and it feels comfortable for you then go ahead. It doesn't inconvenience me and it's really none of my business.