With a hint of Steve Buscemi in the eyes.

Motivational speakers are just a poor man's cult leader. Step up your game, chump.

I find this inscrutable. Coincidentally, I've never been invited into a wedding party (thankfully.)

well trained, multimillion dollar flop.

Subtle?

I guess we've found my type.

I had never heard of the banana body type. I'm just picturing a very tall, jaundiced person looming over me.

Can't wait to see her back in season 18.

George's joke is funny. This observation (which is never not following said Carlin quote) isn't.

The new wallpaper on my work computer.

Yes, you can sue her. You would likely win, but if she doesn't have anything (safe assumption) it would just be a waste of your own time and money.

I can always make a new baby. I have no idea how to make a dog.

The sad thing is, you actually believe that is what happened here. That is why life must be hard for you.

It must be hard being a humorless assclown. Good luck in life (you'll need it.)

Yes.

I bet you think that response made sense. I'll leave you to think about how it didn't.

You do realize if he had killed the rider, they would charge him for killing the rider?

Sunday morning beheadings may be carried out without the traditional guilt associated.

Your bad luck is improbable.

What leads you to believe he won't get more than a firm finger-shaking and stern words?