Seattle is the only team that I despise soley based on its fanbase:

And The Twelves still don’t know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs. 

“The Deep State will stop at literally nothing to distract from how well the President is doing on the economy”

Dear Chase, I feel like I can call you Chase because you and me are so alike. I’d like to meet you one day, it would be great to have a catch. I know I can’t throw as fast as you but I think you’d be impressed with my speed. I love your hair, you run fast. Did you have a good relationship with your father? Me…

To: Canadian Embassy

Trump: I can write. I totally have a pen pal.

DO YOU LIKE TAR SANDS OIL SHALE?

“I like beer.”

I can answer that for you truthfully since I once lived in that godawful county: NONE. In fact, if you are rich and black you’re going to jail. Period. I’ve seen it happen countless times.

that’s jesco white from boone county west virginia, by god. so yes, anytime he dances it’s a gift. 

Because she’s chained up in his basement 

if they’re not related i’ll be shocked

This is the old man I strive to become.  Has empathy, but not without enjoying the absurdity of life. Also I would like to own a hat

Fox News: “Epstein was viciously murdered by Hillary to keep her involvement with him quiet!!!”

The coroner says it was the most determined case of suicide he’s ever seen.

Note to the guards: Suicide watch does not mean, “watch someone commit suicide.”

Shocker.

I enjoyed that. Happy week y’all.

Thank you all for the correction, I was mistaken.