Jesus. Not a very uplifting take for the afflicted, mon ami

Get over it, the kids have won. Just like you did. Lest we forget, grampa 

You may be right, but probably best to shoot up an IKEA just to be safe

Never heard of this “transfer portal”, sounds dysfunctional contextually. Or hawt! Such a fine line

That, and brunch. 

This kid knew the risks, I just feel bad for his opponent Subdermal Matador. He probably feels terrible

I’m just glad someone watched the video before commenting 

Were the providers who successfully performed thousands upon thousands of abortions prior to the newest regulations certified in such a manner? It’s not like they were failing or being unsafe- I mean, you see that...right? Let’s not be fatuous. 

Lots of well meaning but half hearted attempts at ovine puns on offer here, and maybe they’re falling flat because it’s hot out, but it seems like there’s been a lot less light silly humor in the air since November 2016. The real question is: did Putin’s Operation: Malaise finally kill the pun once and for all? I…

No such thing. 

All that hateful organized adrenaline they crave seems a tad suspect- that’s why I respect the Turks for their honesty about that fine line between manly pain and pleasure

Is there? 

No way dude- Rembrandts

A classic, to be sure. I stand by my self deprecating version- the one that proved prophetic. But everyone’s happy, so 👍

He just can’t read birthdates on state issued IDs. 

Ah, the written word; in the era of autocorrect who shall cast that first, dreadful stone.

When we were married I used to jokingly tell my ex that she should introduce me to new people as her first husband- well...

He poops out the diamonds he lodged before surrendering to buy the judge, and if that doesn’t work some muscle in stir. But nobody wants his shitty diamonds, so he tries to be the “funny guy” in order to avoid being punked or shivved, but then realizes everyone only laughed at his jokes only because they wanted his…

“Watch me expressing my genitals while I hold power over the liberty of your child in service of my country”

“Some people are saying the long arc of moral history bends towards justice, but this guy was a total sellout; not a fan, I must say” -you know who, doing his thing