Lots of well meaning but half hearted attempts at ovine puns on offer here, and maybe they’re falling flat because it’s hot out, but it seems like there’s been a lot less light silly humor in the air since November 2016. The real question is: did Putin’s Operation: Malaise finally kill the pun once and for all? I…

No such thing. 

All that hateful organized adrenaline they crave seems a tad suspect- that’s why I respect the Turks for their honesty about that fine line between manly pain and pleasure

Is there? 

No way dude- Rembrandts

A classic, to be sure. I stand by my self deprecating version- the one that proved prophetic. But everyone’s happy, so 👍

He just can’t read birthdates on state issued IDs. 

Ah, the written word; in the era of autocorrect who shall cast that first, dreadful stone.

When we were married I used to jokingly tell my ex that she should introduce me to new people as her first husband- well...

He poops out the diamonds he lodged before surrendering to buy the judge, and if that doesn’t work some muscle in stir. But nobody wants his shitty diamonds, so he tries to be the “funny guy” in order to avoid being punked or shivved, but then realizes everyone only laughed at his jokes only because they wanted his…

“Watch me expressing my genitals while I hold power over the liberty of your child in service of my country”

“Some people are saying the long arc of moral history bends towards justice, but this guy was a total sellout; not a fan, I must say” -you know who, doing his thing

I really don’t think you smoked up before you posted. Kudos anyway- you’re not wrong

Why would you even bother? That’s like taking a Cincinnatian to chili in Orlando.

You don’t have to be a dumb mutt to hear dog whistles, just an asshole to defend them. 

Triggered much, little bitch? lol, god bless trumps old come in that slut’s gold diggin’ womb. Hang on, son- you’ll be a millionaire soon

They probably are done fucking. I mean, let’s hope. Plus the fruit was rotten, so (no offense, special little soccer guy/cyber whiz/deep middle space observer/future super bad guy)

I think you lost him with that one, chief

Lol nice

Maybe in mid November next year, I’ll care about something again. Difficult when a technically elected figurehead rolls around in his own poop with tanks and flyover planes on the national holiday, imitating any provincial dictator du jour