Did you hear her whisper to him to not forget to throw his jacket on the fire at the very end? And what kind of moron puts the gas can under the burn area? I know the answer to this rhetorical question is self-evident in the clip, but come on.

Wow that was terrible- why did I watch the whole thing?

1. When you see sftechperson punch him in the face.

Yeah, what to say- godfather of modern porn finally dies? My first trite thought is that Cooper Hefner is not a great name. No offense, Coop- yer dad wasn’t a creative, per se

I bet you could shave a half hour off that 2 hr TJ quagmire if the checkers stopped personally engaging everyone ahead of you with open ended questions about how your day is going, or—“what are you doing with the rest of your day”— type bullshit. I just need a case of Shiraz mf

I totally represent people who didn’t understand this retrospectively and blatantly obvious, crucial distinction until right now. Thank you, HK; I’m sorry.

This is why you don’t give a Replicant its own talk show.

“When I have nothing to say my lips are sealed; say something once- why say it again?” -David Byrne, MCMLXXVII

People who can afford to go to Nevada for legalized sexual gratification but choose to stay home and ruin lives have no excuse.

Privilege: is it nature, nurture or Orajel?

Reaching all the way to the Cape of Good Hope for that one

Must’ve been awkward when it was only .6 :/

Who are they going to cast as a 24 year old Timothy McVeigh selling 2A bumperstickers to the rubes on the periphery of the conflagration?

“I’m Freddy Krueger, and I approve this message”

Didn’t two Jewish kids invent Superman?*

Finally, someone whose good at analogies

I believe it was Sam Jackson who pointed this very fact out to Thomas Jefferson in that sweltering June just prior to ratification some 250+ summers ago...

Is Puerto Rican food as good as Mexican food? If so, let ‘em in says I

Wow crisis actors have been around way longer than Alex Jones brilliantly proved

Now now- Jerry took a knee tonight too, so.