While you’re there, ask them how to get rid of all these girls who follow me and want to send me nudes for money. It’s like yay someone followed me oh wait godammit

Steve King makes it easy to make good choices, because all you have to do is ask yourself, What would Steve King do? and then just do the opposite. So for that I thank him, I guess?

Oh look it’s Kellyanne

More PDX shenanigans smdh

Show up drunk and you won’t even care. Have fun!

Buckle up

That is quite a reach but I’ll allow it.

You know what? Assholes aren’t some sort of oppressed minority, help make an ecosystem ‘diverse’ or add anything really to life’s rich tapestry. And if you could get word of all that back to your tribe that would be fucking fantastic thank you

Just think of it as a “bootstrap bill” then reach down way deep inside and try harder!

Keep Oakland Janky

Falsum notitia

Put the sanctuary squeeze play on.

I cannot wait for the next person to ask me, “How are you doing?”

Watching this made me feel trapped in my mom’s car in the ‘80s again. Who’s going to save me from adult contemporary duets now?

Our adventure was intentionally comparative, and we unlocked as many universal secrets and truths as they did, which is to say none

A buddy and I just went to Phoenix to take in a couple of Giants games (beat the Reds and Cubs back to back). Ate tacos, drove fast on the desert highways, took mushrooms and stared at the saguaro cacti during the magic hour below ancient cliff dwellings as jets constantly took off and landed in the basin.

Which member of the new cabinet will have to recuse themselves from this one?

Wow that was like Download Dinnerparty meets Green Street Hooligans, thanks (I think)

 “Hey guy, want a ride to the border? Hop in– I’m headed that way anyway” Now where’s the bloodthirsty hate-filled fun in that, I mean honestly

The lookout man