The Steven Seagal Defense, eh?

Oh no. The super rich have a side entrance that goes right to the breaks and loopholes. Everyone else enters in the twisty bit that just curves in on itself.

A hundred years from now students will learn of these scandals while ignoring the "President Mindhive 17264 is eating people" scandal.

Dude, her saying, "Goddammit, Obummer! You let those fuckers die like Vince Foster!" is no joking matter.

Well, Hillary didn't smile much and wasn't very good at emails.

Gloom, despair, and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me

The T-O-P to the D-O-G
Or the P-O-T to the G-O-D

My fellow Americans.
I ain't no cheat, I'm just a regular failure
I'm not straight outta Compton, I'm straight out the trailer
Cuss like a sailor, drink like a mick
My only words of wisdom are just "suck my dick"

[Murtaugh comes around the corner]
Murtaugh: How you doing?
Consulate Envoy: [dumbstruck] I think there must be some mistake.
Murtaugh: Say what?
Consulate Envoy: Sir, listen to your friend, here. He knows what he’s talking about. I don’t think you want to go to South Africa.
Murtaugh: Why not?
Consulate Envoy: B-Because…

Years and years ago, pro rassler Ivan Koloff was doing a signing in my small town Wal-Mart. I see him and consider going over but I really didn't want to bother him even though he was there to be bothered.

Stop killing my dreams, jerk!

You never know when Swift might go all Oprah and start handing out cars and Kreurigs.

I couldn't imagine licking a stranger's back. People are weird.

Briefly considers asking where. Decides not to.

These days she tends to say "Oh Mylanta" quite a bit.

I just don't like touching other people.

I read a story just yesterday where he talked to a kid with cancer or autism or bullied. Something. Anyways, after the talk he hit a HR.
What I'm suggesting here is that every day should be Cancer/Autism/No Bullies Day at the ball park.

Tebow may not be good at throwing footballs but he loves Jesus. He deserves to be first string.

???. No way, man. I'm shoutin', "Taylor! Free Bird, man!!"

Meanwhile on Earth-567.