I had to talk to a scalper to get a prime seat over near the jury box. $975 but well worth it.

I wasn't saying the F-word, mom. I was quoting Scarface. That isn't against the rules.

These puns are SSive.

That is a good point just like how Auchwitz was well run…
Damn. It is hard.

That's not how I chew gum. This is.
*Spicer does over the top impression of McCarthy doing an over the top impression of Spicer chewing gum*
*Audience laughs and Perkins writes it up Sunday morning*

CHICKEN RUB!!

Dear Mr. Spicer,
Perhaps you could purchase a Chewbacca mask and laugh a lot whilst recording yourself, upload it to Facebook and sit back as the nation showers you with money and attacks others who don't find your antics amusing.

The Orang-utang's Paw or Hand or Whatever Monkeys Have. Mandibles? No. Paw, Then is one of my favorite short stories.

I believe there was a 70s movie called Super Honky. Perhaps they could adapt that.

Could that joke be any Thinner?

Remember that time one of them looked bored during some speech?
I got a 2500 word op ed piece out it about how Obama can't control his kids and how kids today are awful.
Good times.

Pssst. We hear you might be interested in a NAMBLA pamphlet.

All's we're saying is that the difference between good/bad guy is intent.
The bad guy shoots you out of evil and the good guy might shoot you out of incompetence. You'll be just as dead either way but wouldn't you rather be shot out of incompetence than evil?
-From The NRA and You: A Guide To Our Beliefs.

Even then. The good guy could be a lousy shot or have poor trigger discipline. But, still a good guy.

"Be the the good guy with a gun. See something. Shoot something"

Hey! Kids of Presidents are off limits. Since Obozo was Kenyan and not really eligible for the US Presidency, then his kids are fair game!

Hahaha. Whatta story.

*swats at birds with hanger*

It's pretty good. At this point, it will be a let down after all the "worst movie ever" hype but it is worth a watch.

Perhaps slime could be involved?
-Dan Ackroyd.