I didn't know Matthew Broderick was a McDonald's spokesman.

I do not have dysentery. I may have cancerAIDS, youthful tendency disorder, the techno-organic virus, dysentery, but I do NOT have syphilis.

wtf is PTSD lol

The A.V. Club

Anything written by Chuck Tingle. The man is a master of prose. He's the George Saunders of dinosaur erotica.

Ten years ago? Good God, I am fucking old.

Yo yo yiggity yo! A 2007 episode without any Juno references? Say it ain't so, homeslice!

Dear Mr. Pikachu, there are too many Pokemen these days. Please eliminate three. I am NOT a crackpot.

The A.V. Club

I bent my Mookie!

Apparently, Ingmar Bergman loved Jurassic Park and Sex and the City.

When I think of asses, a mummy's ass, something comes out of me.

I watched The Shannara Chronicles, because I make very poor decisions.

Snoop's not here, man.

You liked Orange Is the New Black, you may also enjoy five years in prison and/or a $250,000 fine.

MAYBE YOU ALL ARE CHUBBY AGEING DUDES WITH PONY TAILS!!!

*ties ArgieBargie to the railroad tracks*

*Zachary Quinto releases autobiography I Am Not Gay*

[blank]? [blank]! You're not looking at the big picture!

This article was a well-reasoned piece of non-claptrap that never made me want to retch.