Dirtbike's not here, man.

A deep-fried machine gun!

It's even adorable when he eats a baby!

The pyramids are said to be tombs just to drum up tourism? Wouldn't they attract tourists already because they're giant fucking pyramids in the middle of the desert?

Apparently, Mr. Trickle has been lobbying IOC executive Dick Pound to get auto racing into the Olympics.

You know, The Simpsons turned into hardcore bestiality so gradually, I didn't even notice.

Eh, it still looks better than Ghostbusters II.

In the classiest possible way.

Steph Curry drinks Sprite?

Um…okay.

I'm listening…

Ha ha ha, classic Milksteaks!

Leonard Pierce is a scientist now? Well, I'm glad he landed on his feet!

Ali punches people in the head and he's a hero, I punch people in the head and I get sent to Tent City. How is that fair?

I heard that Bryan Singer blue Jennifer Lawrence on the set of X-Men.

I am not a pervert, I just play one in real life.

"Putschy needs to be louder, angrier, and have access to a time machine."

Excuse me, it's "I'm the goddamn Mary Poppins."

The biggest loser is coming from inside the A.V. Club!

In Soviet Russia drugs use you!